I only kidnapped one of them. chill
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize