Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
