I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
