last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
