brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
