Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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