So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
