I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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