Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
