no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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