Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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