I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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