They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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