Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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