Umm I'm too high to move.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
