i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize