worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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