You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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