We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize