Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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