I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Randomize
