How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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