Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
So squirting runs in the family.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
