Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
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