that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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