she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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