hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize