We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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