8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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