I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
