I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
