I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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