who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Randomize
