Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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