Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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