went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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