I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
