Dual....:-)
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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