i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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