you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
