My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
