we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
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Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
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We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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