using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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