Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Randomize
