Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
