Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
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