i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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