she looked like the bat from fern gully.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
