try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
