if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize