She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Randomize
