Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
