pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize