Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
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