He is such a slut. More and more my type.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
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he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
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I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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