I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
