Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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