Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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