wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
