make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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