the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize
