so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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