it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
they need to just BURY HIM!
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
