the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
