and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
i dont even know how to be here
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
