The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
