Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Randomize
