i barfeds in our rink
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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