who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
